I did a Tarot reading the other day for a very wise elder. She said some poignant things to me. I don't remember now for the life of me what her exact words were, but I know I was listening very intently with my heart, and I know it was very important wisdom she was sharing with me. It had to do with following your heart, and following your purpose in life in order to help others. I got the same message from another wise woman last week, who said the work I was doing was "soul work ". I also got a confirmation of this message today in the daily reading I just finished.
Truth be known, this is the kind of work I want to do, soul work. It's not a good feeling when you are can't seem to make a decision and you are stuck in a kind of limbo and chaos.
I took an inventory of myself today, and admitted I had been doing somethings that are not good for my over all well being, or perhaps I was not doing the things that I know I need to do, in order to keep my mind clear, and not muddled. Not much wonder I have been feeling stuck and frustrated. I turned it over today, to the God of my understanding, and tried to do God's will.
Today I felt hopeful, I felt Spring in my bones for some reason. In spite of the past week being really cold and my pipes freezing upstairs and downstairs even in the kitchen yesterday morning. I was not impressed. Actually I was mad as hell and was feeling like the Ice Queen had put some sort of curse on us.
So when my pipes finally thawed upstairs this afternoon, I sat down in my rocker, and I began to journal. I thought I'd feel better perhaps, as it had been almost a month of not journaling, less one day. This is unusual for me, as I never go longer than a seven days without journaling. I also do daily readings that I had gotten away from over the past month, and I was really becoming derailed so to speak.
I decided I needed to get back on track, and began writing in my journal. After a couple of pages, I suddenly I heard an unusual noise, and thought, that doesn't sound like the water pump downstairs and did not recognize the sound. Then I thought it must be one of the taps in the downstairs bathroom that I must have left open. The temperature warmed up today and so along with upstairs taps thawing, I figured the downstairs bathroom taps did as well. When I walked into the bathroom the tap had blown clear off and a gusher of water was going straight into the air, almost hitting the ceiling, all over me, onto the floor and into the basement. Woooohoooo! I went into a panic. I've been doing that lately.
Fortunately, I had a moment of clarity some how, and thought to turn off water with the shut off valve on the PV pipe under the sink. Problem solved. So I need to replace the washer, that was stretched from being frozen and if that doesn't do it, I'll replace the taps.
When I sat back down I finished my writing, and then did my daily readings. It was a confirmation that I need to keep faith and turn my will over to the God of my understanding. I can't expect to ask God for help and than proceed to take my problems back with worry and confusion, and thinking I don't have to maintain my conscious contact with the God of my understanding to keep on the right track, doing what I want to do. It never worked before, and why would I think it would work now now.
" The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all my problems today. "
" My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up self-will, and allow God's will to be manifested in my life. " - Daily Reflections
I think I started to do this today. My worry and fear has been transformed into serenity.
I saw the Beaver today that I share my land with. He had a message for me I'm sure. Here is a Poem I found that sums it up.
Busy, busy, as the beaver,
Busy, busy, as the beaver,
Persistent in my work and fun,
I plan and labor toward my goals
Until appointed tasks are done.
Beaver, show me how to use
The things at hand to reach my goal,
Balancing my work and pleasure,
My mind and body, and my soul.